(to the tune of Lady Marmalade - originally by LaBelle)
Hey Sister, Go Sister, Soul Sister, Go Sister (x2)
He met Marmalade down in Old Ankh-Morpork
Struttin' in chain mail and lace
She said 'Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?
Gitchi Tichi Ya Ya Da Da
Gitchi Tichi Ya Ya Here
Wotta shocker Ya Ya da da
Dwarven Lady Marmalade!
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
They stay in her room while she works on their horn
The boys stay all that night (don't know why)
Oh and what all that meant,
Is Rosie counted the rent...
Gitchi Titchi Ya Ya Da Da
Gitchi Titchi Ya Ya Here
Wotta shocka da da Ya Ya
Dwarven Lady Marmalade
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
[Rapped interlude:
Casanunda's sister
Really likes the misters
Hung around them all of the time
But coming out as female
Startled all the he-males
Who used to work with her in the mine
Heard about a new place
Where she can wear her new face
Without having her life on the line
Now she's gettin' posies
And workin' down at Rosies
She's in Morpork and she's doin' fine
[/interlude]
Feeling her beard oh so silky smooth
Lips are at just the right height
Make the savage beast inside
Roar out and cry for
More, More, More!
Now she's at home doing 5 to 9
Living this strange life of sighs
She's earning her keep
All the boys seem to weep for
More, More, More
Gitchi Titchi Ya Ya Da Da Da
Gitchi Titchi Ya Ya here
Wotta shocker da da Ya Ya
Dwarven Lady Marmalade
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
Dwarven Lady Marmalade
(Oh, and before anyone cites Breebaart's Law to me, they can produce a copy of the lyrics - I'm working from someone else's best guess!)