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Fandom: Lord of the Rings
Title: Gondor's Depraved
Rating: Australian M - sexual references.

The LOTR Slash Ditty...

Rangers are hobbit-lovers
Breelanders fuck their brothers
Elf men are keen on man-flesh
That's what they crave
Dwarves masturbate in forces
(Few women, no divorces)
Rohirrim fuck girls and horses;
Gondor's depraved.

Gondor's depraved all right
Loud orgies every night
Sauron is sleep-deprived
(Why else would he invade?)
But since the war's beginning
And though they're still not winning
Those soldiers won't stop grinning
Gondor's depraved!

The official drinking song of the Minas Tirith "Warriors", Middle Earth's Premier rugby team. (Look, it doesn't matter how refined the official culture of a place is, sooner or later, someone is going to get down to sex. Hence rugby songs in this world. Why not in Tolkien's?)

(This one has actually been sitting around at the back of my head for months. It's just that I've only gotten around to writing it down now. It got sparked by the whole "Lord of the Bagpipes" thing. The tune, if you haven't already guessed, is "Scotland the Brave".)

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