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Filk: My Favourite Things

Rangers and hobbits and Elrond Half-Elven
Ents walking woodenly, dwarves deeply delvin'
Nazgûl on flying beasts spreading their wings
Welcome to Tolkien's Lord of the Rings

Since Peter Jackson made films of the story
Fanfiction's started to get somewhat gory
Badfiction writers all lurk in the wings
Writing their fanfic for Lord of the Rings

"Rohans", "Pail Riders", arranged Elven marriages
Mary Sues riding through Mordor in carriages
Rangers in bondage gear bouncing on springs
Fangirls have come up with very strange things

Bad Legomances, slashed Merry and Pippin
Hurt/Comfort Frodo in Sam his wick dippin'
Faramir acting like Mary-Sue's pet -
No wonder I avoid fanfiction.net!

Bagenders, OFUM, PPC and MUSM,
Imaginations work well when you use 'em,
Stick within canon, restrictions it brings
Still, creativity's such a fine thing

Writing's an art, and a craft and a process
Keeping in character means you make progress
Add punctuation precisely, don't fling;
And always remember to do spellchecking

If you post it
On ff.net
And a flame results
Remember the readers won't put up with crap
And don't say it's not your fault!

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